I’ve managed to get myself back into a regular workout routine this fall. Praise the Lord! My favourite type of workout is yoga. While I was doing a class, I had a little mini-epiphany:
“What if I quit fighting?”
Ok, let me give you a little back story. I am a recovering perfectionist; some days more recovered than others. You know what I’m saying? I have this horrible super tiny version of myself somewhere inside my head that just LOVES to point out every. single. thing. I. do. wrong.
Now this “wrong” is a moving target. Depending on the day, sometimes wrong is not doing the breakfast dishes right after I stand up from the table. Sometimes wrong is not speaking in a calm voice to my child after the seventh time that day she has screamed in my face. Wrong is having constant pain in my body, which my mean mini-me blames on my weakness.
I have thousands of unspoken rules that my mean mini-me pulls out of nowhere and convicts me of my crimes. Both for things I’ve done and for things I haven’t done. I feel like I can’t win.
So, back to my mini-epiphany: “What if I quit fighting?” What if I quit fighting with myself? What if I quit fighting the constant pain in my body and accept it or listen to what it’s telling me? What if I give myself as much grace as I give others? Or truly accept the grace God gives me and live free from condemnation? Free from guilt? Free from always feeling like I’m failing?
What if I quit fighting?
One of my yoga teachers said yoga is a practice of compassion. When our body isn’t able to do something we’d like it to do, we give ourselves compassion. Or if we aren’t able to do something today that we did just yesterday – compassion. This compassion then moves off our mat toward others as well.
Don Miguel Ruiz speaks of doing our best each day in his book, The Four Agreements. By doing our best each day, we can free ourselves from regret because if we know we have done our best, then there is no better. Our best looks different each day based on a thousand things, it’s not a constant progression forward and upward. Yet, we can find peace in that way of being.
The Lord gives strength to his people;
the Lord blesses his people with peace. (Ps 29:11)
Peace is a blessing from God. He desires for us to experience his peace.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:7)
His Peace (which we can’t understand) will guard our hearts and minds. I’m pretty sure that God’s peace can kick that mean mini-me out of my head!! That’s good news!!
The real question is:
How do I get this Peace?
Obviously, I am a work in progress, but here are some ways that have been working for me…
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2)
If I want my life to resemble God, I have to have His thoughts, His desires; I have to know His ways. I find out about him through His Word, through friends who are also pursuing God, praying, and listening to Him speak. When I start my day in the word and in prayer, I get my mind focused on Him right away. Over time, as I read His love letter to me each day, I begin to know His heart for me and for His world.
My mind is being transformed. Day by day. Moment by moment.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Cor 10:5)
I have the right, and indeed the need, to tell that mean mini-me where to go! We don’t need a permanent critic following us around, bringing up every failure, or perceived failure. We can’t endure under those conditions. Thank God we have the holy spirit living within us to strengthen us!
I don’t have to fight with that mean voice, I can simply silence it with the truth of God.
When I know the lie that I’m believing, I just find the truth that replaces that lie. For example:
When I feel condemned –> Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus
When I feel alone –> Joshua 1:5 As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Sweet Beloved, God has good things for you! If we are always fighting, it makes it hard to receive His goodness. Let’s agree to accept His peace. Let’s agree to silence those lies. God has given us such incredible mercy and compassion – Let’s actually enjoy it!!